Showing posts with label rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rants. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

A Story of a Boy



This is a story of a young boy. A boy who has been known as an average guy next door by many, the guy who always smiles and shows that he is happy most of the time. This boy came from a well known school, achieved quite a number of praiseworthy achievements, but sacrificed the so called "night life" by his generation. He may have studied hard to pass his classes, but missed out a lot in terms of experiences. This boy grew to be exposed in a different type of fun. A fun that most "nerds" or "geeks" would connote as "FUN". This fun is known as the "virtual reality". Being more attracted to the joys offered by the fake world or universe provided by cartoons, gaming, and anime is what made him experience joy and excitement. Being a citizen of the "virtual" world, This boy became one of those "unknowns" or "hidden" faces in his school. Why hidden? Because you would not expect him to be part of this school due to his "different" image from the usual norm of the people hailing from that institute. People from this said school are usually fun, interactive, social, and wild. You will even wonder how on earth would a boy who does not exhibit those attitudes survive in such a school. Probably, it is thanks to the existence of other individuals with the same interests as this boy had. A bunch of young kids who shared a passion in watching anime, reading comic books, and playing various video games became the crowd of this boy. But as the years pass, the boy reached the age wherein he had to face a change. The change of being exposed to a new environment. An environment so radical, that various cultures, lifestyle, and beliefs existed mutually. The environment of "college".

Who would have thought that this Nerdy boy would one day detach from his own world and try to face "reality". Unlike the environment that he had in his secondary years, wherein their world was basically limited to the people in his group of friends, this boy had to engage different kinds people with varying attitudes. Some were fun. Some were sad. Some were weird. Some were awesome. This boy tried to carry his old self into this environment. But as the saying goes, "There is no constant thing in this world but the idea of change", this boy experienced a lot of changes. Changes that lead to what he became today. Changes that made his group change their view and impressions of this boy. Changes that broke his ties with his first crowd and opened the bridges to new circle. The boy did not want most of the changes to happen. He just wanted everything  to remain as it used to be. Wherein he and his old friends are hanging out and having a good time. He did not want any conflict between his friends to arise. But what can he do? Being exposed to such a dynamic and radical environment affected his personality drastically. The boy who was once a shy and quiet kid who lived in a different world became the "new" boy who got exposed to reality. To the reality known as "life".


The reality of life changed the lifestyle of the boy. He became an outgoing person who had different ties with different groups. He rarely hanged with his previous friends. He left the "virtual world". He basically became someone who is going "out" and lives a life. From having only one set of friends, he now had multiple "gangs" or "barkadas" as they would call it. He had different personalities to interact with the varying groups that he became part of. When with the serious group, he becomes a "serious" guy. When with the the fun group he becomes a "clown". This boy became like a chameleon. One who adapts to drastic changes in his environment. He went under a lot of adapting to different environments to the point that he almost lost trace of who he really  was. The only thing that makes him remember his identity is the moment when he is alone. Moments wherein he can reflect and evaluate himself. Moments wherein he is able to ask himself, "Who are you?", "Are you really this type of guy?", "How long will you keep putting different masks?", "Can you still identify your self?" and other similar questions. These moments makes him realize that he has been forcing his own self into different environments wherein he can't be himself. The the boy is slowly shedding the real him from his own life.

Just like other people, this boy has made quite a lot of mistakes. By putting on a lot of faces, he developed a bias and has become too comfortable in some of his adapted environments. He did not realize that he has trespassed into a territory which he shouldn't have. He realized it too late. This is but one of the numerous instances wherein he made such a mistake. Mistakes that made him regret his actions. He knows that all of the things that are happening to him now, are the effect of his own actions. His actions that leads to a lot of conflicts. Sadness. And other mix of emotions. Actions that make him realize how bad he has turned out. That the changes he has undergone only made things worse for him. Though he has experienced tons of things which he would wouldn't if he did not change, the after effect of such changes outweighed the joy he had when he chose to be part of some events. This made him realize that he probably has gone too far. That he had to give himself time to reevaluate himself. That he should pause for a while and think. That "Maybe I should stop adapting to the change in my environment and start on working on myself first". That he should become someone not by becoming "one" with a group, but by becoming "someone" instead. This boy realized that he should not let his environment affect his own identity, instead, the environment should be the one to realize that there is a "somebody" like this boy existing in that environment. 

Unlike the nerdy boy whom he originally was, this kid has already experienced a lot of roller coaster rides and has developed drastic changes. Changes that made him experience a lot of things, from the unstoppable joys with a continuously growing group of friends, to the painful moments of realizing that he is truly alone. Changes that made hime view things in life in various perspectives. This boy realized a lot of life lessons as he went by the days of his college. He learned how the rule of society works the hard way. He attempted to be a douchebag to score a girl. He became a naive person as he fell in love. He experienced rejection through his stupidity. He discovered the feeling of being wasted in different ways. He has travelled "high" and fell too "low". He excitedly became part of some big events, some of which were successful, and some were quite depressing. He was able to reach destinations he didn't expect he would. He also felt the various sentiments of his friends  regarding his personality and what type of person he had become. 

Though this story of a boy is still a work in progress, this boy still truly hopes to find a happy ending. Despite having more depressing experiences over joyful ones, this kid is still putting up a brave front and continue to face the different challenges in life that is being thrown to him. Having learned a lot of lessons from the experiences he has collected, this boy believes that he would not make the same mistake again. Not unless his memory lapse kicks in, he jokingly remarked. 

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Barkada.

This past few months, I've felt quite disoriented. Didn't know whether I should be keeping up with the old group that doesn't seem to care about each other anymore or should i start joining the new group that welcomed me for who I currently am. I never expected to be stuck in the middle of this conflict, in fact, I promised to myself that "them" from the old group would be my priority over the new ones that I'll be having in college. 


Being stuck in the middle means that I won't be able to keep my promise to myself anymore. It's not that I don't want to keep this promise, it's just that I can't keep it anymore. I did put a lot of my effort in trying to bring my old group together, which by the way never occurred since we started college due to personal stuff, or hectic schedules, or their own new-found groups. Those factors made it hard for me to keep them on top of my priorities, despite that, I always hinted a lot of signs to them, telling them that I'm always here, waiting for them to acknowledge my efforts for them. I always wanted to have at least a little time to catchup with one-another, keep one another updated on what's happening in their life. We still had quite a bond over the past years, so I guess it's alright for me to rant bout this stuff. They've been telling me that I'm always this "emo" or "soft" but, what can i do?


It's just me wondering.. "San na nga ba ang Barkada ko ngayon?"

San na nga ba ang Barkada - Spongecola

Monday, November 29, 2010

Oh Well.. There goes my Heart.



It's been quite a while since my last post. I've been really busy with my Acads, Org. Activities, and with my Social Life. It will be more hectic this coming weeks, so I guess I won't be able to rant for quite some time. Didn't expect myself to be this busy. Actually i thought I'll only be this active during the start and will get lazy as the days comes by. But to my surprise, I was quite in it till this day. Oh well.. There goes my "Free" life..



Theres another sad/happy(?) thing that will occur. I'll be turning legal in the next few days. Meaning, I won't be able to goof around that much anymore. I won't be able to joke around with some friends and get-away with acting cute anymore. Or be quite a douche and check out some random passing chick. LOL. never did that anyways. A good thing that would come to me will probably the image on how others will look at me. I guess they won't treat me as a brat anymore. Oh well.. There goes my Youth..


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Last thing. I've been quite a lonely kid this past days. Never had something serious for quite a while. But I do have some inspirations in my mind, yet I cant do anything but stare at em'. Call me weak, Call me a fool, Call me whatever you want. To me, It's better to stay like this, and let them get what they want and be happy. To me, just seeing them smile and laugh around, It's already a ton of joy being thrown at me, but deep inside, theres this longing for something. Oh Well.. There goes my Heart..



Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Newbie.

What a tiring day. Prolly one of the most hectic ones I guess. Never thought that I would be doing a LOT of things.
Oh! I haven't introduced myself yet ain't I? How silly of me.
I'm Ram by the way, I'm just your average teen that you could see wandering outside. A man of the "EAT.SLEEP.DRINK" lifestyle (I'm trying to change for my own good though). Studying at this "Green" school located along Taft Avenue, taking up Business Management as my Major.I am currently trying my very best in balancing my academics, extra-curricular activities, participation in my organization - Business Management Society, and maintaining a stable relationship with my friends - Qcumber Brunch.



I guess that sums up my Introduction? LOL. It's been quite a long time since I last blogged at this site i'll call as "X" (X is a symbol in Math). Hopefully, I won't be too lazy or too busy to blog and share some stuff that may be or may not be worth sharing. I also might shift to my native language from time to time as i'm not that good in writing in English, so yeah. I'm expecting to have more "RANTS" posted, mostly about my life and maybe about that roach, roaming around outside my room, or this Epic Event that I'm currently working on with my Organization.


I guess thats pretty much for my first blog after like 3 years? Oh well, I'm pretty much a Newbie in this stuff so please bear with me. :)